Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A quick update

Five Signs
You know you're near to dying a lonely death when you:
1. Fail to show any sense of responsibility in your life outside work
2. When u care so much of being bothered and expect everybody to honor your coffee time because, basically its the only moment when time is really yours, and yours to spend.
3. When you only plan as things happen, and the worst part is -- you hope things don't happen.
4. You want everything under control, and hold on to every human rights as tightly as legitimately possible.
5. You cant stand mentioning of the past, present and the unforeseeable future. You think MP3s are better communicators than most of the human race.

Now in case you're wondering, yes. I'm sick, and I don't need you to point it out to me. But please don't blame it on me, I still don't think I deserve that. I'm only trying to be a better person, but the more that I try, the more it seems that I'm nearing the opposite end. So just fucking leave me alone. One last tip here -- in case you're still not fully convinced that I cannot possibly become a good friend, a good listener, a good neighbor -- just don't think that I'm being through deep shit or I'm having some real emotional difficulty. Matter of fact, I'm against public display of emo-ness.
* In case you've realized how often I've been un-friending friends and wanted to ask, yes. But only those whom in all my observation only produces negativity and  emo-spamming my news feed. Yes, only those.

Biphasic Sleep
If you'd like to know when exactly is my most sacred time and don't want to get in my way during these periods: I sleep 9am to 12 noon, plus 1 to 2 hours of nap from 5.30 or 6pm. If you'd like to talk to me (especially when you know it's not some sort of casual chatting), mail me or write in to my inbox. Try not to hit me up on the chatbox or simply ring me because most of the time, I'd have to disappoint you. I hate to disappoint, so please :))
Most of my awake hours are spent on reports and research materials. Here's some quick facts.
On an a full working day, I can make up to sgd 200 to 300. And I can work up to three full working day straight in a row. But usually that puts me in a deep sleep deprivation condition and I can sleep 15 hours continuously after that. On a half-working day, I consume 6 cups of coffee and sleep for a total of 5 hours to keep my mind working at full speed.
So where do I spent my money on? Bills, rent, daily necessities -- basically all my daily expenses. I spend quite a lot on steaks, IT gadgets and I save the rest for  further investments. My parents financed my education, but fortunately they no longer need to do so.

One Friend
Now please don't take it too personally, sometimes I'm such a prick towards everybody.
There have been some awesome people that I would like to say my thanks here. Mind you, they are really awesome people. I don't think somebody like me deserve anything like this, but some people I came across have really been kind enough to lend me an ear and pretend to laugh when I failed at a joke attempt. Okay, they probably didn't. But at least they smiled. Probably not, well at least their face twitched to such a degree I would have to assume they did. Sorry for being so attached to work, and care so much less on my relationship issues. I just have a tendency to lose friends but didn't quite know why. I'm less-surprised now. Some people are meant to live it such way. I'm more surprised by the people who'd still care to care for me, 'cause deep down I know I don't fucking worth it. Thanks.

But I used to had a few really close buddy. What fucking happened?
I wouldn't like to use the word betrayal but that's exactly what happened.
See the fact is not many people really know me, and those who really do don't judge me.
If they would, they judge me fairly.
But see what I hate most is when you take it too far, badmouth me and want to comment about my personal life.
I think you're having a serious problem with me.
Why the fuck would you want to do that? So you can lay another girl like what you did to one of my friend last time? Then let me make the phone call again, and clear it all up for you? Seriously?

I know I've been such a difficult person to stay with.
The good news is:
You choose.


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